Look. It's one o'clock in the morning. I'm tired. All I want to do right now is go to sleep. So could you please kindly SHUT UP?
I'm really not asking for that much, I'm sure you're just as tired as I am - you've probably had a long day of raiding cabinets, barfing on people's shoulders and ingesting your own vomit. Why don't you just rest your agitating fly wings and we can both get some shut eye. Quite frankly, you should be happy... you've got a warm lamp to snuggle up against, a nice quite room and I'm not going to smash you like any other decent human would.
I mean, you're one lucky fly. I don't have the energy to climb out of bed and kill you like I killed your fat, buzzing brother half an hour ago. That's not going to last long though... one more buzz out of you and I swear I will be so agitated that it will send a load of adrenaline through my veins that will give me the strength to properly pulverize your tiny body with my shoe hard enough to make your guts fly around the world twice and then land back in your dying face. But I really don't want to do that... so don't make me.
Yours,
Bird.
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