Wednesday, May 11, 2011

To: The Army of Mosquitos That Just Invaded My Bedroom

So the fly carcasses on my walls weren't warning enough not to enter my sleeping realm?
Or perhaps you took them as an invitation... a challenge.
Regardless of your reasons it was sheer stupidity coming here for I am a bug-killing machine. I trained in Haiti against mosquitos much bigger and deadlier than you.
But you are well aware of this now. I'll admit that you were quicker, craftier than the fly - but still, you are no match for my elf-like vision and impeccable shoe handling. One by one I struck you down. And I will leave your guts smeared across my ceiling as a trophy and as a warning for mosquitos to come:

All bugs who enter here shall perish.

Cause I'm a bird... and I eat you for breakfast.

Yours,
Bird.

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